There is no scientific research behind this. This is just a self experiment. If you follow me on Instagram you’ll see that I was in Antigua on Vacation; since my return I have been having morning sex almost every morning with my significant other. And I noticed some changes with myself when I compared mornings without sex to morning with sex.

  1. Get to Work Earlier. This depends on how you are after sex some people are sleepy and some people have a burst of energy.                                                       via GIPHYI have a burst of energy and I’m extremely focused. So on the mornings I had sex I arrived to work earlier. I work at 8:00 AM. Morning sex would occur at around 4:30 AM – 4:45 AM and last for about 40 minutes to an hour. Then afterwards I will be wide a wake; and focused compared to other mornings I would hit the snooze button numerous times and would be very lethargic. 
  2. Be More Productive & Motivated. As I mentioned I am more focused therefore I am able to plan my day better, and organize my time around appointments resulting in being more productive. I am also way more motivated to get things done. 
  3. Eat (more) breakfast. I eat breakfast, a lot of it. I either cook a huge breakfast or order a lot of it because I am much hungrier.                                                        via GIPHYI also tend to pick healthier breakfast options because I am more focused in general; and I focus on the fitness goals I have set for myself.
  4. Dress Nicer. I don’t know if this applies to anyone else; but after morning sex; I feel sexier; so therefore I take more time and effort picking my outfit, applying make up and styling my hair. 
  5. Have an Overall Better Mood. Throughout the day I have a better mood and if it gets a little tough at work I just think about the fun I had that morning and it brings a smile to my face. 
Please note I am not saying I need morning sex or you need to have morning sex to experience all of the above. This is backed by NO science and it'is just an at home experiment on one subject (myself)  of me comparing my mornings with morning sex and mornings without. 

So try some morning sex and compare it to mornings without sex and see if it makes your day any better and feel free to comment below and let me know how your experiment works out. 

 

Last year it was really cold during Valentines, so I wrote a post on things to do inside.

On Tuesday (In NYC) the weather now reads it would be 38 degrees, partly cloudy and let’s hope most of the snow is gone by then.

Let’s be cliche, have a classic date, steal some inspiration from the movies, while not breaking the bank this Valentines! Here are some things to do:

 

 

 

We were together for 8 months. I was at his apartment opening the door with a key and everything.
You know I letting myself in like I always did (only when he asked me to come over – he asked that I don’t just pop up, please check with him first). I found it weird but I never thought too much of it – gotta respect people’s privacy. I already met his some of his family and friends. I felt like I was the one and the only one.

So there I was sitting and watching TV, I heard the door open, I thought to myself “he’s home early.” But it wasn’t him it was another girl, not his cousin nor sister but his girlfriend. Girlfriend of 4 years who was temporarily living in another state. She visited one weekend a month and he visited her 1-2 weekends a month. You might ask did I not see her stuff there? Nope. They didn’t live together the few things she had there he put them away and puts them back when she visits.

There are clear signs that you are a aide chick sometimes but ever so often it’s not clear at all. Some people are great at covering up. Everything appears normal: You spend a reasonable amount of time together, regular date nights, going to events together. You met family and friends. You know where he lives. 

Not so obvious signs that you’re the side chick:

  1. You get introduced to a select set of family and friends (You don’t even realize this). However because you met them you may feel like your relationship is serious. You may get introduced to his parents but not his grandparents. (I only introduce a guy to my grandmother or my best friend Toni or tell them about him when I’m serious about the person) Simply ask him who in his family are most important to him and who his best friends are. If you haven’t yet met those people that’s a sign.
  2. Pay attention to how you are introduced. Do you get introduced as his girlfriend or just by your name. Ex. This is my girlfriend Kariette or This is Kariette. Also pay attention to how they act around you.
  3. He goes “out of town” for work often when his job doesn’t really include travel. He works as a office manager. Why does he have to travel for work? 
  4. You can’t show up unannounced to his house. You may know where he lives or even have a key but he forbids you from just popping up.
  5. In addition there is no randomness or spontaneity allowed from your end really. You can not plan things last minute with him. He may be spontaneous though. He’ll tell you he has plans but perhaps show up to your apartment with flowers and say they got cancelled and he missed you. 
  6. He gets upset when you cancel plans; perhaps because you’re working late. It’s his only time he put aside for you.
  7. You don’t exist on his social media much. Sure you can tag him in pictures and take pictures with him all you want but he makes sure that you don’t show up on his timeline nor does he post pictures of you. And forget about the “in a relationship” status, he refuses.
  8. Him being protective of his phone is often a clue but what if he isn’t? He simply deletes all his messages or hides the messages and leaves his phone unlocked. Pay attention to if the messages that you send him aren’t in his phone. 
  9. He avoids talking about old relationships. It is something he just doesn’t care to talk about. Pretty hard to talk about your last relationship when you’re still in it.
  10. He doesn’t talk about future plans. You don’t know where your relationship is going, he says “let’s take this one day at a time”

Feel free to share your knowledge on other signs that you’re possibly the side chick or your experience on when you or a friend found out you’re a side chick.

Break ups suck! (These apply to child less relationships, and the relationships you’d be an absolute idiot to re-enter. )

  1. Don’t immediately decide that you’re going to be friends and then start trying to be friends. The reality is one person wants a friendship and the other wants more so this is not ideal.
  2. Keep your distance. Stay away from him, his friends, family and his hangouts. Hopefully you don’t work together. If you’re able too take a 2 week vacation in a different country, do that. 

  3. All Inclusive Singles Vacations
  4. Social Media Block Out – Remove this person from your social media accounts – block if necessary or you’ll find yourself social media stalking, observing this person and feeling sad. And if he cheated on you or moved on the next day; well prepare to see that new girl all over his accounts.
  5. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family – they will encourage you and boost your self esteem and confidence.
  6. Engage in healthier coping habits, instead of drinking alcohol, start juicing, making smoothies or volunteering. Listen to happier, upbeat music, and watch comedies. 
  7. Delete his number; in case you get drunk or loose yourself temporarily – so you don’t drunk-text or call and sound pathetic or crazy. 

  8. Do not stop yourself from crying. You need to allow yourself to mourn the loss of this person. And work through your feelings and emotions.
  9. Understand that it takes time to heal. Don’t force yourself to get over it – you’ll do more harm to yourself than good. 
  10. Reorganize your things and do some cleaning. Cleaning can alleviate stress and also signify a new beginning to a new you.
  11. Throw out his shit. Remove or return his things to him (Return them via mail or have one of your friend take it.) Try to remove other painful memory triggers like gifts. 

  12. Avoid Rebound-mania! Don’t quickly jump into a new relationship. A new relationship will seem exciting because of the negativity from the last one. If that new relationship doesn’t work out then you have to deal with the pain of two relationships. So give yourself some time please.
  13. Reflect on the relationship, and look at why you are better off without your ex and look into ways he may have been holding you back in life.
  14. Reinvent yourself – Change your makeup routine, Add some intensity to your workout, or even change up your wardrobe. Focus more time on your career, making more money and your hobbies; read. 
  15. Save 15% on all orders at beautystoredepot
  16. Continue to love your fabulous self! 

Most people do not want to be alone so they seek out serious relationships which they aren’t ready for. I have been guilty of that; trying to be in relationships when I am not ready (though I thought I was).


I am also around people who want relationships but aren’t equipped to be in one; they are selfish, have some growing up to do and have unrealistic expectations. I then observe as they enter relationships, with immediate mistrust of their partner because of unhealed wounds from past relationships, and constantly creating drama stemming from their unrealistic expectations.

These questions to serve as a self assessment and reflection tool because sometimes we’re broken and dented and we don’t even know it.

 The sample answers/scenarios to these questions are both personal answers and witnessed reasons I have heard friends and acquaintances state. If you’re in a not so serious relationship and you’re thinking about getting serious; some questions may apply. 

Before you jump into a relationship; here’s the list of questions you may ask yourself:

  1. Why do I hate being single? Is it because you have no hobbies? Is it because you have no friends? If you hate being single because all your friends are in relationships well clearly that is not a good enough reason to start a relationship. Do hate being single because you want someone to post pictures with on social media? That again is another ridiculous reason to be in a relationship. The answers go on and on – but be honest with yourself.
  2. Am I emotionally and mentally stable to be in a relationship? Are you going to have a mental breakdown if things don’t go your way? If you are still licking wounds from an old relationship  – your answer is probably no
  3. Do you have existing trust issues? Are you going to enter a relationship having a high level of distrust with someone who has done nothing to lose your trust and ignore the fact that the person is simply trying to gain it? Then you probably have trust issues. Are you going to go out of your way to spy on or even set a honey pot for that person? Then you probably have trust issues. Are you going to immediately think the person is up to something if they don’t respond almost immediately to a text or return a phone call? You guessed it – You probably have trust issues. 
  4. Have you recently gotten out of a relationship? If the answer is yes – Why are you trying to get into another relationship? Have you even gotten over the last one? 
  5. Are you ready to make compromises and decisions that are not just about you anymore? Yes this is a serious question some people do not understand relationships take work. When you’re in a relationship or even dating with that intention, they’ll be some compromises and joint decisions.
  6. Do you enjoy your own company? If you were supposed to clone yourself; would you love being around yourself? Would you trust yourself with your secrets? Would you bring a negative or positive energy to yourself? Would you admire the clone of yourself? All the attributes, characteristics and qualities in you. Seriously if you won’t like being around you why would anyone else?
  7. Are you capable of being honest and open? First you’ll have to be able to answer that question honestly. People enter relationships unable to tell the truth and even start the entire thing with a lie.
  8. Are you good at communicating? Or are you going to post subliminal messages on social media? Or say nothing is wrong when asked knowing damn well you have a problem with something? Expanding the last point in item 3; ask the other person their preferred method of communication; not everyone likes texting.

A few questions to ask during the early stages of the relationship
  1. Why am I with this person? Does this person make you happy or check the mental boxes in your head? Are you friends and family influencing you to be with this person?
  2. Am I interested in this person for the right reasons? (You may have answered this question in Question 1) The person you just started dating or “talking to”; think to yourself why are you interested – Is it because they can advance your career or status in life? If so stop wasting their time and your time – They’ll eventually catch on. 
  3. Can I deal with this persons anger? If you’ve seen the person you’re with angry or extremely upset at someone else or something. Ask yourself if you can deal with it. Does the person throw things or say the meanest things? Would you be able to handle it if it was directed towards you? 
  4. Are you physically attracted to this person? Might be a weird question, may seem shallow too – But often times we are so desperate to be in a relationship or our friends set us up.  The person is nice, there is peer pressure of sorts so we get into the relationships with someone we aren’t even physically attracted to. 
I am sure there are more questions you can and should ask yourself. If you can think of some post them below!