So today I was pretty much brainstorming for posts and my boyfriend’s idea was I’ll say it in his words:
“Why don’t you open up more about your life on your lifestyle blog? Why don’t you blog about not having friends in New York and talk about your journey making girl friends on your blog? I’m pretty sure there are other people lile you who probably blog and have no friends and are scared to write about it” Then he pretty much went on saying I should go out more and meet girls and go on friend dates and document it.
Well I was not going to write this at all. I felt it was a bit too personal and I initially cared about what people would think, I thought I’d be considered weird, desperate for friends or even a loser. Then moments later I didn’t give a f**k and started writing this.
So here it is I have no close girl friends near me really, I have a lot of people I speak to, mainly via text or social media and hang out with perhaps once or twice a year because they are too busy and we live too far apart.
When it comes to having one or a group of girl friends that I can hang out with, and confide in that doesn’t exist for me. I just have my boyfriend and my brother.
I reflected a bit and came up with possible reasons why I don’t have any close female relationships:
- I alienated myself from people after college and starting a new career. I was the person who was always too busy to hanging out and would respond to text days later.
- Oh if you look way back when I started blogging, I was married, he hated me talking to and hanging out with single friends and having any friends really and I was pretty much alienated from everyone. Let’s just leave that crap chapter of my life at that.
- I was extremely insecure with myself stemming from issues from item 2 so I barely went out nor socialized.
So let’s proceed; I used to be a very social person, went out often and was really friendly. A bad relationship can change you without you realizing it at all, I became introverted, shy and insecure with myself entirely.
I’m now back to a point where I’m not insecure, I accept myself, more social, I am positive all the time and I’d like to make some female friends. I’d like for my boyfriend to not have to hear all my lady drama, or have to go shopping with me and act like he notices the difference between nail polish and lipstick colors.
My goal is to speak to 5-7 women each week, online or in person, and go on at least one girl date each week.
I am going to attempt to reach out to old friends, also get the hell out of my apartment more and go out, go to the gym, and places filled with people that may be similar to me to make girl friends and also try online and exploring friend apps.
If you don’t have close girl friends you are not alone, I hope sharing my journey to making friends will help you.